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The Love Letter

After shocking the sensibilities of a conservative audience with my first time speech on cars ; I went back to the same audience with this mellower version: Boo Boom Boo Boom What was that sound? What was making that sound? It was the middle of July and unlike most days in that month; the sun was a blazing ball in the sky and the heat stifling. I had walked almost a mile to meet you. My shoes were dusty, my hands clammy with sweat and my legs ached . I was irritable and tired and then I saw you.  Boo Boom Boo Boom It was my heart, beating, audible, in love. Strong but curvy, your colour a deep flawwwwless mahogany and smooth, oh so smooth. My hand involuntary stretched to touch you, but I stopped myself before I made contact, fearing by putting my sweaty and dusty palm on you, I would mar your beauty. You were the vision from my dream, and I instantly knew I could not live without you. I finally got the courage to take you home that afternoon but it took me time to get used

An open letter to the Chief Executive Officer of Kenya Power

Dear Eng. Joseph Njoroge, KENYA POWER’S RE-BRANDING IS A WORK IN PROGRESS First of all let me commend you for the great strides you have made at Kenya Power. Despite working in an environment with high cost of supplies, rampant vandalism, legacy employees, and generally hostile consumers you have managed to accomplish a great number of things. Applying for new electricity connections especially in rural areas has never been easier or cheaper. Prepaid meters have introduced certainty in billing and protection of revenues for our national utility provider. You have also worked hard to improve the customer experience with more responsive customer care, use of information technology and a charter on response times. Certainly if Kenya Power continues on this path you will delight your customers with a world class service that improves their lives. Naturally in rebranding a parastatal you will encounter challenges, but all challenges are solvable. I’d like to share some suggestions on

Screw Textbook Publishers

I feel very fortunate in the time I have spent as an entrepreneur. Not only have I gotten to meet a great number of different people: partners, suppliers, clients, proteges, employees but I've also provided products and businesses of utility AND made money. I like think of myself as an innovator as most of my ventures have been firsts: 1st person to publish the laws of Kenya online , 1st person to launch a low cost business centre , 1st person to automate the company registration person ; but I do not naively believe that I was the first one to come up with these ideas. Rather I was the first one to move from conceptual stage to actual implementation. As any real entrepreneur knows, implementation is 80% of the work. If you regularly read this blog, you'll therefore know that when I get a new business idea I usually share it freely. No need hoarding an idea, get it out to there and then make it a race to see who can make it work first. It is with this same spirit that I'd

Mulika Mwizi

In one of my first classes at the University towards my law degree I encountered what must be one of the most eccentric lecturers in Kenya. Besides a deep seated hatred for apples (for the crunchy sound made when eaten) he was a multiple accident victim whose injuries had left him with a condition where he could lapse into complete catatonia. Not only did this affect his duties at the International Criminal Tribunal of Rwanda where he was a prosecutor but it could also make him re-boot halfway into his lecture. On re-boot (despite lecturing for hours already) he would begin "good morning class today we are going to look at..." In spite of this, I still found myself immensely enjoying his class and the subject he taught - criminal law. There were many reasons why I liked criminal law but perhaps the number one reason was because of some of the fantastic stories we discussed. We would study intentions and acts of murder, manslaughter, arson, cannibalism, conspiracy, buggery (do

Live Blog Kenyans for Kenya Concert - a Teeniez Perspective

So I am watching the Kenyans for Kenya concert with my younger teenage brother and asked for his thoughts on why it looks like such a flop and why he would not attend. Here are his top 5 thoughts: The event wasn't publicized enough. He only heard about it yesterday. The presenters (Julie Gichuru, Anne Kiguta, Jeff Koinange) are too old to be hosting a show targeted mainly at young people (from the music being played) The Citizen TV studio and the formal talk of the presenters make it feel like news read  boring. The line up of the artists should alternate good and not so good, that way the tempo and excitement can remain relatively high The stage is too far from the audience.

My Brush with Al-Qaeda - Part II

Continued from  http://startupkenya.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-brush-with-al-qaeda-part-i.html One day earlier.... "Kindly spell the name for me sir" "AL HAZEEF, A-L-H-A-Z-E-E-F, come on you have my passport why don't you just read it, I need to check in and go about my business" "I'm sorry for the inconvenience sir, with passports in Arabic we always confirm the English translation." the pretty hotel receptionist Njeri looked up from her computer at the middle-eastern man impatiently tapping away at her desk. She hated this type: young, filthy rich with petrol dollars and ready to throw insults if things weren't done their way. Njeri started to sigh but caught herself midway - that would only aggravate the situation. She was glad that her shift was almost over, Mike would be at home by now and she couldn't wait to curl up in his arms and tell her about her morning. A small light flashed on Njeri's computer bringing her back to

My Brush with Al-Qaeda - Part I

We were all laughing heartily as we reached the hotel lobby, one of my arms around Achieng's shoulder and the other holding my ribs which ached from the night full of humor. My younger sister Loizer was recording everything with a hand-held video camera which surprisingly was still on. Kibe my cousin could barely make it down the last flight, he was not used to so much liquor and humor. Just a few minutes back, a joke from Shiko my other cousin had destroyed all his remaining inhibition and whiskey sprayed from his nose as he was reduced to a cackling mess. The sight of Kibe uncontrollably guffawing while spraying liquor from his nostrils had in turn raptured any remaining decorum we had and we entered the lobby a riant mess. I figured the hotel staff were accustomed to tourists behaving badly so initially I was not surprised at the lack of attention as our company reached the lobby. It didn't take long to realize however that the staff were not indifferent but rather all the

My First Time

“I was very anxious, and glad it was over quickly”  “Felt shy at first but once I got the hang of it, I loved it” “A really painful experience!”  “Super, freaking awesome!” These statements came from a group of teenagers as they all described their first time…                  ...to drive a car A  life time lived to its full results in a painted mosaic of memorable moments,  and for me none are more memorable than my first times with a car. I'm Learning “Stop!”, “Slow down...” “Left, left …. No left” arms flailing around giving directions to unseen places; it’s distracting I want to do it my own way. This is different from how I imagined it. I had planned the whole thing out in my mind – practiced it with the meticulous precision in front of the mirror. I was supposed to be in control, guiding the pace. Shifting the gears higher or lower as my passions dictated. Instead here I am, befuddled , anxious, immature. She doesn’t respond smoothly to my touch but jerks around as i

Your A to Z guide for Alcohol Drinking Laws (Mututho) in Kenya

It's Friday again. Young ladies leaving work early to pass by the salon for a touch up. Young men going through their bank balance, MPESA balance and wallet to confirm their capacity for damage. Married men leaving their calculators tucked deeply under their work files in the office; and everybody in between getting ready to party. As you plan to paint tonight red, here's an A to Z guide of how to stay on the right side of the law - especially in light of the Alcoholic Drinks Control Act, 2010 a.k.a. Mututho Law. A - Alcohol So that we know what we're dealing with, take a look at how the Act defines alcohol. It includes a ny alcoholic drink with at least 0.5% alcoholic content except for methylated spirit or denatured alcohol (which kinda provides a loophole because Kenyan's have been known to take alcohol unfit for human consumption). The Act regulates production, sale and consumption of alcohol. UPDATE:Read recently that the law regarding proximity to scho

Internet Banking in Kenya

I remember the first day my mom took me to the bank, it was back in the day - mid 90s and we lived in the country (euphemism for ushago ). The only bank that was available was Post Bank. Now I can't remember too much about how it all used to work, but I remember this: once you opened an account you were given a small booklet, I think it was called a passbook. The booklet was a journal that contained a handwritten list of all the transactions made to your account. Now those were the days before things like branchless banking, local area networks,  desktop banking modules, computers, or even queues existed in Kenyan banks, less so a rural based bank like post bank. Instead to withdraw money over the counter the procedure was something like this: After filling out on a form or the passbook (can't remember which) the amount you wanted to withdraw you would need to hand it over to the cashier.  To get to the cashier you would muscle your way through the multitude of other custo

Cut costs but don't Waflash

New colloquial words usually originate from a mutation or amalgamation of existing words. Take Waflash for example I know that most of you have probably never heard of this word but it carries deep significance for me. Long long ago, in a galaxy far far away (...just had to use that, it's for the lulz) I shared an office with an otherwise affable chap called Wafula. Now I say otherwise because Wafula had a serious weakness... read on. Based on my limited business knowledge at the time, I knew that there were only two ways in which a company could maintain a positive cashflow: 1) increase sales 2) cut costs. Wafula however only believed in number 2, while I was a rather strong proponent of number 1. I came to realize just how strong of a disciple Wafula was of the cost cutting dogma one sweltering February afternoon. You see in our office arrangement, Wafula would pay for electricity while I catered for the internet. Since we were sub-tenants, the main tenant would pay for the

Is Premium Rate SMS on its deathbed?

This post is dedicated to @kenyangetter . It's always nice when your ramblings are appreciated. 10 years is a short time in technology. When I got my first Airtel line (it used to be called KenCell those days young ones) the provider did not even have SMS as a service. They did launch it a few months later by the (very clever) name YesMS (for those who don't know the slogan for Kencell was Yes!). However you could not send an SMS from Kencell to Safaricom for a long time after its launch but on the bright side an SMS only cost Kes. 5.00. This was way cheaper than the appx. Kes. 30 per minute (billed per minute!) call charges one would incur for calling at that time. With Kenyan's peculiar calling habits under attack, SMS became the preferred mobile communication means. Millions of text messages were transmitted across providers' networks and the providers milked this revenue source by keeping the rates virtually unchanged over the years. It was not long before

Is the government right to spy on your SMS?

Amid the hullabaloo of Osama’s killing and the crippling fuel shortage that hit Nairobi, a shocking announcement sneaked its way into the paper yesterday without anyone making too much a fuss about it.  It was reported that the National Cohesion and Integration Commission has been monitoring text messages and internet-based communication for any clues of hate speech and incitement. Surprisingly though this news does not appear on the front pages of any of the main media houses websites this morning. As if to allay the obvious concerns on privacy, Commissioner Halakhe Waqo “assured phone users that adequate steps have been taken to safeguard individual privacy unless it breaches national security and peaceful co-existence “ Seems harmless enough so far. But then Commissioner Waqo went on to say: “We do recognise that privacy is very important for an individual but public security and safety is much more important. We want to pin down that breach in public safety and security,”